Limitations are hard. Right now, I am fighting so much. The physical limitations are the ones that no one can see, but I feel them—pain, exhaustion, soul-crushing fatigue. And no one understands how it is unless they experience it for themselves.

What I should do is not worry about what others think and instead just think about how the Lord sees me. But that is easier said than done. The whole thing is seriously frustrating. So what I normally do is just shut down. The ADHD paralysis comes knocking, and the fatigue from chronic illness helps me to just stop. That is when I pretend there is nothing to do and nothing wrong, and I just zone out.

“Then Jesus said, ‘Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.’” — Matthew 11:28

God sees me in my weakness. He already knows everything I am going through. He is actually the only one who knows what I am going through and the last person I need to be running from.

What I Believe About My Limitations

I feel lazy. I begin to believe I am lazy. If we think something for long enough, we truly start to believe it. So instead of being tired and sick, I am lazy. I know in my mind that is not true, but my heart says differently. Am I lazy? Does God see me this way? Does anyone see me this way? I am probably the only person who thinks this, yet it can become an obsession.

God loves me through my limitations and in my limitations. He walks me through it all. He knows what is happening. He knows the truth. He is the ONLY ONE. I have to let him in.

“Each time he said, ‘My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.’ So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.” — 2 Corinthians 12:9

These very limitations are the things that should push me to dependence on the Lord. Instead of living in my own head and trying to change things I can’t change, I need to depend fully on God. Again, easier said than done. That is the paradox in all of this. Giving it all to God is the best and easiest thing I could do, but it is also the hardest thing to be able to let go.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.” — Proverbs 3:5

I want to fix it myself. I want to do all the things I used to do. I want to work 40 hours a week and then clean my home, take care of my husband, go to church, visit my daughter and grandson, and hang out with friends. There was a time when all of this happened; every single day of every single week. I was never tired. I was never upset. I was never overwhelmed. That is what I want NOW. I want all of that back. I am sick to death of my limitations, and I don’t understand why God forces me to go through this. I have asked God so many times, as so many of us have.

“O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever? How long will you look the other way?” — Psalm 13:1

So, I begin to feel angry. It isn’t fair. God knows what is fair, yet I am going through all of this: PCOS, Sarcoidosis, Migraines, CFS/ME, ADHD, depression, anxiety. I mean—GEEZ! Why?!?!

I keep pushing through, and I keep getting worse.

“God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.” — Psalm 46:1

When I do have times that I feel sustained and balanced, it is when I am leaning on God. So why then do I wait until my limitations have crushed me before going to Him?

Am I the only one who does this? What does God want me to do? What does God expect out of me?

“God blesses those who are poor and realize their need for him, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs.” — Matthew 5:3

I know that these struggles have brought me closer to God. I am forced to lean on Him. Maybe that is the very reason I still walk through these struggles. He uses these very things to draw me in. In that way, I am thankful for my limitations. I am actually THANKFUL!!! It is truly amazing how things change as the Lord changes us.

Finding Growth and Gratitude in Limitations

Do we grow closer to God in the good times when everything is perfect? I think not. We grow closer in our struggles.

“Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.” — James 1:2–3

Another thing that my limitations have done for me is soften me toward others. I used to be so judgmental. I used to think people were “full of it” when they complained but looked well at the same time. Crazy, right? Because here I am struggling with the very same thing.

“Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” — Ephesians 4:32

Now, I try to see the good in people. I choose to trust instead of being skeptical of every single person I meet. I don’t let people walk all over me, but I do choose to believe until someone gives me a true reason not to. Without my limitations, I would have never been able to do this. How awesome is that?

Even when we are sad and hurting and miss our old selves (because I believe we always will grieve), we can find blessings in the difficulty.

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” — Romans 8:28

Praise God for that!

“Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” — 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Through my limitations, I am learning to depend on Him more fully, grow in compassion, and find gratitude in ways I never imagined. I may not understand all the reasons for these struggles, but I can trust that God is leading me, shaping me, and walking with me every step of the way.