It’s more than being distracted—it’s living in a brain that won’t slow down.
1. “I can hear you… I just can’t listen.”
I try so hard to listen when someone is talking to me—especially in my closest most important relationships.
But when the TV is going, people are making noise, and I have a million things swirling around in this brain of mine… listening is hard.
I can hear you. There is nothing wrong with my hearing, even though I’ve had many people tell me I need to get it tested.
But I can hear.
I just can’t listen.
And that is very hard… especially on my relationships.
2. I lose everything
People around me are shocked by how easily I lose things.
I mean, I can have something in my hand… and then it’s gone.
And when I say gone—I mean GONE.
I will have absolutely no recollection of what I did with it. I can’t even remember putting it down. Sometimes I can barely remember having it to begin with.
It is horribly frustrating.
Frustrating to others—but way more to me.
If you’ve ever been annoyed by someone who loses things all the time… multiply that feeling by about a million. That’s what it feels like inside my brain.
3. I forget everything unless it’s in my phone
If you tell me something and I don’t put it in my phone immediately… just go ahead and know—I’m not remembering it.
If it’s important, it has to go in my calendar with at least two reminders (sometimes more, depending on how important it is).
This has gotten better over time because I’ve learned to drop everything and set reminders right away.
But trust me—I had to miss a lot of things before I figured that out.
4. Restless… all the time
I am always restless.
How does one even relax?
I feel like I need to be doing something all the time. And if I’m not doing something, then I’m thinking about everything that needs to get done.
This is where schedules actually help me.
If I schedule rest, then it counts. It’s on the list. It’s something I have to do.
But if it’s not scheduled?
It feels like a waste of time—even if I’m exhausted.
5. Patience is… not my strength
Have you ever been stuck walking behind someone who is moving so very slow… and it fills you with rage?
That’s my life.
Watching people move slowly when I know I could go faster makes me absolutely nuts.
6. Overthinking everything… or nothing at all
I’ve learned that I have to think through everything.
Because for me, it’s all or nothing.
If I don’t think things through, I end up making decisions I regret—decisions that have affected my life in big ways.
So now, I think through even the smallest things—things most people don’t even have to think about.
And that’s frustrating too… because sometimes I just want to do.
But I’ve learned I can’t always trust that instinct.
7. The emotional side no one talks about
One area many of us with ADHD struggle with is something called rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD).
It’s a bit controversial—some professionals don’t fully recognize it—but many people with ADHD know exactly what it feels like.
It’s that intense emotional pain when you feel rejected, criticized, or like you’ve failed.
For me, it shows up as a deep fear of not being good enough.
A fear that people won’t accept what I do—or worse… reject it.
Honestly, I believe this is why I haven’t done so many things I could have done in life.
I’ve had great ideas. I’ve had the knowledge.
But I didn’t believe I could do it.
And if I’m being real…
I still struggle with feeling worthy.
8. Constant overwhelm
I feel overwhelmed… all the time.
Even when there is literally nothing that needs to be done.
Between the restlessness, overthinking, trouble sleeping, frustration, procrastination—and let’s not forget time blindness—my brain is always in overdrive.
I might have days to get something done and feel like I have to do it right now.
Or I might have something due in minutes… and still put it off.
I don’t always understand why my brain works this way.
But I’m learning that I have to work with it, not against it.
9. Starting everything… finishing nothing
I start so many things.
I have amazing ideas and the best intentions. I get excited about what I’m going to do…
And then I don’t finish.
Not because I don’t care.
Not because I’m lazy.
But because my brain moves on before I can keep up.
10. Routine: needed… but resisted
I truly believe having a routine would help.
But ADHD and routine? That’s a hard combination.
We need structure to function—but our minds fight against it at the same time.
And when the overwhelm hits, and there’s no clear routine…
that’s when ADHD paralysis sets in.
And once that happens?
It feels like the day is gone.
Like I’ve failed.
Like I might as well just start over tomorrow.
(And try not to drown in guilt in the process.)
11. Knowing what to do… but being unable to do it
This might be one of the hardest parts to explain.
I often know exactly what needs to be done.
And still… I can’t do it.
Not because I don’t want to.
But because my brain just… won’t let me start.
12. ADHD paralysis
When overwhelm, pressure, and too many thoughts collide… everything just stops.
I freeze.
And even the simplest task feels impossible.
Final thoughts
Over the years, I’ve learned a lot about how to work with my ADHD instead of constantly fighting against it.
But it has taken 20+ years to figure out what helps—and I’m still learning.
This isn’t something that changes overnight.
But I want you to know this:
You can go from feeling like a complete mess…
to learning how to use your ADHD as a kind of superpower.
It’s possible.
I’m living proof of that.
And in time, I want to share the things that have helped me get there.
Chronically Adultish 
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