Life was insane for so long. I was overwhelmed, exhausted, and trying to do way too much. It still happens—but not as often as it used to.
Before I started putting myself and my health first—above my job, housework, and what people think—I was more of a mess than I am now. And honestly? I’m still a mess. But I’m a work in progress.
This is a journey.
I don’t think we ever truly “arrive.” We keep learning and adjusting our whole lives, because life never stays the same.
Limitations are hard. Right now, I am fighting so much. The physical limitations are the ones that no one can see, but I feel them—pain, exhaustion, soul-crushing fatigue. And no one understands how it is unless they experience it for themselves.
What I should do is not worry about what others think and instead just think about how the Lord sees me. But that is easier said than done. The whole thing is seriously frustrating. So what I normally do is just shut down. The ADHD paralysis comes knocking, and the fatigue from chronic illness helps me to just stop. That is when I pretend there is nothing to do and nothing wrong, and I just zone out.
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It’s more than being distracted—it’s living in a brain that won’t slow down.
I try so hard to listen when someone is talking to me—especially in my closest most important relationships.
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(But You Know You Need It)
There are moments in life when everything feels like too much.
Not just busy. Not just stressful.
But heavy—like your body, your mind, your circumstances are all working against you at the same time.
That’s where I am right now.
I don’t like how my life is progressing. I feel frustrated in ways that are hard to even explain. Something as simple as wanting to get laundry done or get the house cleaned up so I can rest—turns into a disconnect that leaves me feeling unseen and misunderstood.
(more…)I am surrounded by people all day, every day — at work in stores and at home with my family. I know one of my main purposes in life is to care for my family the best way I know how. But being around people constantly can be overwhelming.
Even Christ stepped away to be alone with God. If He needed that time, who am I to think I don’t?
The truth is, people often get on my nerves. At work, customers can be rude and demanding. Sometimes the way people speak to those of us working in the store is unbelievable. I may not say what I’m thinking, but there are moments I choose to walk away rather than engage.
(more…)When I chose to follow Christ, I didn’t just change habits — I left behind an entire way of living. From the outside, it may have looked like I walked away from a fun, carefree life full of parties and freedom. But what I truly left behind was misery, anxiety, and a deep sense of emptiness.
I had grown used to living however I wanted, whenever I wanted. I searched everywhere for love and validation, giving myself away in hopes that something — or someone — would finally fill the ache inside me. Yet even in that brokenness, God loved me. He loved me long before I acknowledged Him.
(more…)“But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” — Romans 5:8
I was watching The Chosen the other night—one of those quiet scenes that sneaks up on you.
The disciples were arguing, caught up in themselves, when Jesus walked in. He was exhausted. Worn down. His body clearly carrying the weight of a long day spent healing others. His mother rushed to him, urging him to rest. As he prayed and drifted into sleep, the arguing stopped.
Everything went quiet.
In that moment, the disciples saw what really mattered—and what didn’t. Truth had been standing right in front of them the whole time.
(more…)I recently watched a video about Hidden ADD by Aron Croft (https://www.youtube.com/@HIDDENADHD), and it stopped me in my tracks. One point he made felt especially true: people with ADHD often operate on a different internal clock than people without it. We tend to work later, push closer to deadlines, and finish things at times that don’t always line up neatly with expectations.
That realization got me thinking about how often ADHD is misunderstood—not because people are unkind, but because what’s happening internally isn’t visible.
From the outside, it can look like nothing has changed. But from the inside, everything feels louder.
(more…)I need to lose weight.
Even writing that sentence feels loaded. Not because I don’t know it’s true, but because it carries so much history with it—old photos, old bodies, old versions of myself that felt lighter in more ways than one.
I was thin once. Or at least thinner. I remember what it felt like to move through the world without constantly thinking about my body. When I look back, it’s hard not to compare who I am now to who I was then. Everyone says you should only look forward, but that’s easier said than done when your past body feels like proof that you used to be able to do this.
(more…)This past week has been difficult. I’ve been struggling with some new health issues — as if I didn’t already have enough going on. Whenever something new jumps into my world, I tend to get overwhelmed by everything else. It’s like the new thing takes all my attention, and everything else starts to feel like just one more problem piled on top.
I wonder if anyone else does this. Is it an ADHD thing, or just a me thing?
After feeling sick for days, I finally went to the ER. They ran a bunch of tests, gave me some strong medicine, and then told me my liver counts were high. I was shocked. I don’t drink, I eat carefully, I try to take care of myself — so what in the world was causing this?
At first, it felt really discouraging. I caught myself thinking, “Oh great… here we go again… woe is me.”
But after the initial wave of self-pity, something inside me softened. I began to sense that maybe this was God’s reminder to me — a nudge to slow down and keep my life simple.
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Chronically Adultish 