I have to reflect on God’s faithfulness regularly because I feel discouraged often.
Usually, that discouragement comes from what I am feeling in my body.
I spend a lot of time not feeling well, and honestly, it is no fun. It makes everything harder—including spending time with God.
There are days when I am nauseous. Days when a migraine takes over. Days when my joints hurt. Days when fatigue feels absolutely soul-crushing. And sometimes it is something else entirely.
The hardest part may be that I never know which version of the day I am going to get.
There is no way to prepare for it.
Or at least, that is what I have always thought.
But lately I have been wondering if maybe there is a way to prepare.
Maybe, just maybe, preparedness is only one prayer away.
“God, Help Me Be Ready”
I have prayed so many times to be well.
I’ve asked God to take away the pain. To give me energy. To let me wake up feeling normal. To make my body cooperate for just a little while.
And it doesn’t happen.
At least, it doesn’t happen in the way I am asking.
That can be discouraging.
Sometimes I begin to wonder if God even hears me.
But deep down, I know He does.
I don’t understand why He hasn’t answered those prayers the way I want Him to. I don’t know how long this season will last. I don’t know what God is going to do with it.
And I don’t know why this is the path I have to walk right now.
Romans 8:28 tells us that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him. But sometimes I wonder: What is my good?
Is it something God is doing in me?
Is it something He is doing through me?
Is it something that will benefit someone else?
I don’t know.
And maybe I don’t have to know.
That is one of the hardest lessons of faith: trusting God without having all the answers.
God Is Faithful When I Am Not Consistent
Chronic illness can make consistency almost impossible.
I can have good intentions about spending time in Scripture, praying, meditating, serving, or simply being present with God—and then my body decides otherwise.
Sometimes I am too exhausted to concentrate.
Sometimes my head hurts.
Sometimes my brain is so foggy that reading the same sentence three times doesn’t make it stick.
Sometimes I don’t want to do anything at all.
Sometimes I just want to crawl away and hide.
And that can make me feel like I am failing spiritually.
But then I have to remind myself:
God’s faithfulness does not depend on my consistency.
When I can’t spend an hour studying my Bible, God is still faithful.
When my prayer is nothing more than, “Lord, please help me,” God is still faithful.
When I can’t do the things I normally do, God is still faithful.
When I feel pulled away from Him by pain, exhaustion, depression, and the stress of everyday life, He hasn’t moved.
He is still there.
When There Is No One, There Is God
There are things that are almost impossible to explain to another person.
What does soul-crushing fatigue actually feel like?
How do you explain pain that doesn’t always show on the outside?
How do you explain what it feels like when your own body becomes unpredictable?
Even the people who love us may not fully understand.
There may be days when nobody notices.
Nobody sees how hard it was to get out of bed.
Nobody knows how much effort it took to accomplish something that looks completely ordinary.
Nobody understands why you are exhausted when you “didn’t even do anything.”
And there are moments when it can feel like there is no one and no way.
But there is God.
When there is no one and no way, there is God.
He sees what nobody else sees.
He knows what nobody else knows.
He hears the prayers I can’t put into words.
And He doesn’t become less faithful because I am struggling.
I Don’t Have to Know What Tomorrow Holds
I can’t prepare for every symptom.
I can’t predict every bad day.
I can’t control what my body is going to do tomorrow.
But perhaps I don’t have to.
Maybe being prepared doesn’t mean knowing what is coming.
Maybe being prepared means knowing Who will be there when it comes.
I may wake up tomorrow feeling wonderful.
I may wake up tomorrow feeling terrible.
I don’t know.
But I do know this:
God will be there.
The same God who is with me today will be with me tomorrow.
His character doesn’t change when my circumstances do.
His faithfulness doesn’t change when my health does.
His presence doesn’t disappear when I can’t feel it.
And that gives me something I desperately need:
hope.
Not necessarily hope that tomorrow will be pain-free.
Not necessarily hope that every prayer will be answered the way I want.
But hope that whatever tomorrow brings, I will not face it alone.
So I will keep reminding myself.
God is faithful.
When I am discouraged, He is faithful.
When I am sick, He is faithful.
When I am exhausted, He is faithful.
When I am inconsistent, He is faithful.
When I don’t understand, He is faithful.
When I can’t see what He is doing, He is faithful.
And when I feel like there is no one and no way—
there is God.
For Him, I am thankful.
Even here.
Even now.
Even in this.
God is faithful.
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