What I Left Behind to Follow Jesus – And Why It Was Worth It

When I chose to follow Christ, I didn’t just change habits — I left behind an entire way of living. From the outside, it may have looked like I walked away from a fun, carefree life full of parties and freedom. But what I truly left behind was misery, anxiety, and a deep sense of emptiness.

I had grown used to living however I wanted, whenever I wanted. I searched everywhere for love and validation, giving myself away in hopes that something — or someone — would finally fill the ache inside me. Yet even in that brokenness, God loved me. He loved me long before I acknowledged Him.

“But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” — Romans 5:8

Those years before salvation were marked by despair and anxious thoughts. I cried often, but only when no one could see. Outwardly, I appeared carefree and fun. Inwardly, I was struggling with depression and self-hatred. I constantly wondered if there was a better way to live.

Following Jesus revealed that there was.

I didn’t leave behind joy — I left behind hopelessness.

I didn’t leave behind freedom — I left behind bondage.

I didn’t leave behind life — I left behind survival without purpose.

Today I still experience tears, but they are no longer empty. They are filled with hope because I know I am not alone.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” — Psalm 34:18

There is peace in knowing that God loves me, guides me, and works for my good. What I left behind had no lasting joy. What I gained is eternal.

A Journey of Ongoing Surrender

I gave my life to Christ on April 15, 2012. But surrender has been a process, not a single moment. Over time, God continues to reveal new areas of my life that need to be placed in His hands.

Following Jesus is not a finished achievement — it is a lifelong transformation.

“He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” — Philippians 1:6

Right now, God is calling me to obedience in caring for my physical health. My habits with food, caffeine, and exercise have become areas that need surrender. Some challenges in life simply happen, but many struggles are shaped by our choices. God is lovingly calling me to change so I can live fully in the purpose He has for me.

This has been one of the hardest areas of obedience so far. Letting go of old lifestyles felt easier than confronting daily habits that comfort me when I’m tired, stressed, or overwhelmed. Yet obedience in the small, daily choices matters deeply.

“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” — 1 Corinthians 10:31

Letting Go of Security

Possessions have never held a strong grip on my heart. I value simplicity and freedom from excess. But security — that has been harder to release.

Even so, I know where true security is found.

“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus.” — Philippians 4:19

God has cared for me long before I recognized His presence. He has protected, guided, and sustained me through countless situations. Trusting Him is not a blind leap — it is a response to His faithfulness.

A Different Kind of Struggle

I still wrestle with trying to fill empty spaces with things that cannot satisfy. But the difference now is that I know the true source of fullness.

“Whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst.” — John 4:14

The emptiness I once tried to fill with temporary comforts is a space designed for God alone. This journey is not easy. Surrender rarely is. But this struggle is no longer hopeless — it is filled with purpose, growth, and grace.

Food is nourishment, not salvation. Comfort is found in God, not in habits. Strength is found in surrender, not control.

Why It Is Worth It

Following Jesus is worth it because:

• I am loved unconditionally.

• I am never alone in my struggles.

• My life has purpose beyond momentary pleasure.

• My tears now carry hope.

• My identity is secure in God’s grace.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” — Matthew 11:28

I once searched everywhere for fulfillment. Now I walk with the One who holds every answer.

And truly — what more could I need?